002: Re: "Something"

What is this "something"? Please refer to the first post, What is Inside the Box?

Now that you kinda know what that "something" is, I feel like I have to tell you what really happened.

I don't remember anything: their names, the date, where it happened. But I can remember what happened and I guess it is enough to be able to tell this story.

One of my common friends asked me to go to a drinking binge with some of his common friends in the CAMANAVA area. Being the perennial drinker that I am, I decided to go there. It was really foolish of me to switch plans, because my best friend asked me to accompany her to a party she'll be attending but I chose not to.

I know that I have a high tolerance in drinking alcoholic drinks. The Bar pa yung ininom namin nun, I was feeling confident that I can go home even if I'm not sober enough.

Two guys came to fetch me in Monumento, small talks and stuff. While we were traveling, my friend texted me that he won't be able to join tonight because he has some other things to do. I just shrugged and replied that it's fine. Tutal, I'm with these guys already.

The drinking session began, and after finishing a bottle, I excused myself to go to the john. We resumed after I came back, but somehow I felt weird. Light-headed. Then sleepy.

When I gained consciousness (but I was still really dizzy to get up and fight back), I realized these guys have already stripped my clothes off, one of them penetrating my behind, without any condom.The other guy forced me to suck him off, which I tried to dodge. I had braces back then, and the continuous scraping of the braces with my mouth created sores.

He came on my mouth. And inside me.

They left me afterwards. I don't know how long I have been lying down, devoid of any clothing. When I can finally stand up, I just put my clothes on and went home. Nobody was inside the house, the guys were nowhere to be found.

I dismissed what happened. After that incident, I had a fever from Friday night until Monday night. My best friend was worried about my condition and told me that it could be the first sign that I am infected with HIV.

I didn't believe her. Lagnat laki lang 'to.

But when I didn't grow up, that's when I started worrying.

I have been really adamant about using protection during sex, but that was the only time where I had unprotected sex; and I didn't even like it. I just have read articles like this and laugh, thinking that they're such wussies, "Why would men get raped?"  I didn't expect that such incident would happen to me.

When I got diagnosed, it was the only thing I had in mind. Were they positive? Did they infect me? Weird enough, I did not have the urge to hunt them down and seek revenge. I just wish that they won't infect others.

I created this post not to take pity of what happened to me, since I am not 100 percent sure that they are the culprit. However, I just want everyone to be aware and vigilant of what's happening in society nowadays. That aside from HIV, cases of harassment can also be alarming, whether or not the suspects are positive.

I don't know how to end this blog post. So...