Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 1: Your Best Friend

May 2, 2013, 10:41 P.M.

Dear Dora the Rat Killer,

Hi Bess. So, it's been seven years since we met. Naalala ko pa, super hardcore ka pa magsayaw sa ParaPara, tapos ako konti pa lang ang alam ko nun. To be honest, hindi ko alam kung bakit naging magbestfriend tayo. Ikaw, alam mo ba? Haha :)

Nonetheless, I'm still thankful that you became my best friend. You've been there through my ups and downs. You never left my side - just like a true friend. We've had our own share of hell, yet we managed to pull it off and become better versions of ourselves.

I must admit that there are things that we have done in the past that we're kinda not proud of. However, I think they're just ways for us to realize our shortcomings as individuals, and ultimately change for the better.

I am happy that you found your man, finally may mag-aalaga na sa'yo. You've been in charge with your previous relationships na toxic na. As much as I'd like to slap some sense in you, naturally stubborn ka eh. At least I can say that Indiano Gibbs will take care of you the same way you take care of him.

I'm excited about your wedding. I've been practicing hard with my song number. I want that song to mean so much to you.

You're a strong woman, sa'yo ako kumukuha ng lakas ng loob to continue with my life, despite what happened. I will always cherish our friendship no matter what happens.

I know that behind the laugh that you let out whenever we're together lies the tears you try to stifle and hold back. I know you're hurting for me, and I understand it. I am hurting too, but what pains me more is the fact that you share a piece of my burden that I know you don't deserve.

I want you to know that I am okay. I am strong, because I have a friend like you. A support system, a strudy rock to lean on. Shit, naiiyak ako.

Lastly, I want to thank you because over the years, you have treated me more than a friend. You treat me like a brother (although Tim Gunn is kinda counted too. Hehe) Lahat ng favors na ginawa mo para sa akin, I appreciate them. You know I do. I will always remember all the fun we had when we're together and never in my life will I ever forget them.

Just know that you'll always hold a very special place in my heart. Sa may right ventricle.

Labia minora, bess. :)

-The Poztmodern Guy

30-Day Letter Challenge

I got this from a former schoolmate's blog. I decided to do this too. Wala lang. I just wanted to accomplish something. I am writing the letters on paper aside from posting it on this blog. I sealed the first letter in an envelope at hinulog sa drop box sa suking tindahan. Char. I will seal each letter and have the following people read it when the time comes. LOL



Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

002: Re: "Something"

What is this "something"? Please refer to the first post, What is Inside the Box?

Now that you kinda know what that "something" is, I feel like I have to tell you what really happened.

I don't remember anything: their names, the date, where it happened. But I can remember what happened and I guess it is enough to be able to tell this story.

One of my common friends asked me to go to a drinking binge with some of his common friends in the CAMANAVA area. Being the perennial drinker that I am, I decided to go there. It was really foolish of me to switch plans, because my best friend asked me to accompany her to a party she'll be attending but I chose not to.

I know that I have a high tolerance in drinking alcoholic drinks. The Bar pa yung ininom namin nun, I was feeling confident that I can go home even if I'm not sober enough.

Two guys came to fetch me in Monumento, small talks and stuff. While we were traveling, my friend texted me that he won't be able to join tonight because he has some other things to do. I just shrugged and replied that it's fine. Tutal, I'm with these guys already.

The drinking session began, and after finishing a bottle, I excused myself to go to the john. We resumed after I came back, but somehow I felt weird. Light-headed. Then sleepy.

When I gained consciousness (but I was still really dizzy to get up and fight back), I realized these guys have already stripped my clothes off, one of them penetrating my behind, without any condom.The other guy forced me to suck him off, which I tried to dodge. I had braces back then, and the continuous scraping of the braces with my mouth created sores.

He came on my mouth. And inside me.

They left me afterwards. I don't know how long I have been lying down, devoid of any clothing. When I can finally stand up, I just put my clothes on and went home. Nobody was inside the house, the guys were nowhere to be found.

I dismissed what happened. After that incident, I had a fever from Friday night until Monday night. My best friend was worried about my condition and told me that it could be the first sign that I am infected with HIV.

I didn't believe her. Lagnat laki lang 'to.

But when I didn't grow up, that's when I started worrying.

I have been really adamant about using protection during sex, but that was the only time where I had unprotected sex; and I didn't even like it. I just have read articles like this and laugh, thinking that they're such wussies, "Why would men get raped?"  I didn't expect that such incident would happen to me.

When I got diagnosed, it was the only thing I had in mind. Were they positive? Did they infect me? Weird enough, I did not have the urge to hunt them down and seek revenge. I just wish that they won't infect others.

I created this post not to take pity of what happened to me, since I am not 100 percent sure that they are the culprit. However, I just want everyone to be aware and vigilant of what's happening in society nowadays. That aside from HIV, cases of harassment can also be alarming, whether or not the suspects are positive.

I don't know how to end this blog post. So...